5AM Runner

About a Woman

woman_excited_5553812As I awakened at my regularly-insane early hour this morning, I suddenly recalled that today was in fact March 8th, also known as the Women’s Day in most corners of the civilized world.  I have always found it strange and even somewhat offensive that the women of the United States don’t quite get to enjoy the attention, the flowers, the gifts and all the other niceties that the rest of the planet’s female population receives on this day.  To me it seemed unfair and just plain crazy, to say the least, and I simply could not get through the day like this without doing something, anything, to acknowledge my love, respect and appreciation of the weaker (not really) sex.

But, truth be told, my imagination is not quite what it used to be back in the day, when I could easily come up with many innovative ways of praising and idolizing the ladies around me, throwing compliments around and figuring out countless ways of trying to please them…  Not that easy, not anymore, and this morning, just as I was wrecking my limited brain, I suddenly remembered that only a short while ago someone beat me to the punch and had already delivered on the idea of pleasing women all across the world in the most unique and unexpected way!

When I first heard about this hottest new invention, I couldn’t help but admire its creators!  The idea is as genius as it is simple, and of course it had to be a lady who first told me about it… None other than the world-renowned Lana Meres, the nutritionist-par-excellence, known and admired far beyond the borders of her local Northeast Philadelphia practice – it was she who first told me about the Whole Body Vibration Devices.

Quite simply, this machine provides vibration for your entire body – you step on the platform and begin violently vibrating.  The vibrations in turn produce an automatic “reflex” in the muscles, which supposedly somehow entirely replaces the need for cardio workouts – vibrating for 15 minutes apparently does more for you than an hour of running!

Now, I am not here to argue the effectiveness of vibrating vs. running and regular cardio, but I will tell you this – I typically run for more than an hour each time out, but I have never been able to achieve the level of happiness and exhilaration that the users of the Whole Body Vibrators obtain after only a few short minutes on the machine!  Never!  And – quite interestingly so – despite the fact that both men and women have flocked to embrace this new revolutionary way of “shaking up your day”, it is by far predominantly the women who have found these devices the most useful.  As it seems, the gigantic vibrating devices are making its female users physically fit and spectacularly happy, all at the same time… Go figure!

Now, what better gift could you possibly come up with to present to your female friends / loved ones on their special day than the big vibrator… err, I mean, the Whole Body Vibrator.  I can’t compete with that – the flowers, the cards, even the romantic dinner out – all pale in comparison next to this pure stroke of genius… And while men can’t quite benefit the same way from the machine itself – I am not yet sure why – we can still win in a couple of ways:  1. We now get the credit for this perfect gift idea, and more importantly,  2.  A happy woman results in a happy man next to her, and that’s all I really care about.

Keep it vibrating!