5AM Runner

And Then The Tears Came


tearsYou must know the feeling very well... Your schedule, your days and your life overall just get packed more and more, get tighter and more complex, until it all just gets as bad as it could possibly get - or so you thought - because that's when the real fun begins!  

You are seemingly doing the right thing, going through the motions day after day, but then suddenly you wake up feeling old, out of shape and out of time.  You wish that yesterday could only repeat itself and surely you would handle it differently, you'd live that day much better if only given the chance ....  but the truth is - you wouldn't, nothing would change, because despite your best intentions you are stuck in a vicious circle of life and there is no way out...

Or maybe there is...

I woke up in that precise frame of mind one Sunday morning, having skipped the last 2 weeks of running or any other meaningful exercise, doing nothing but gaining weight and feeling nothing but remorse for the days gone by... On Saturday I committed myself to a "monstrous" run on Sunday morning, one of those 2-hour escapades from reality... But then in the morning somehow I found myself tired, exhausted and beat down deep into the dirt yet again... Is that what getting old feels like?!

No, no, don't get me wrong - I still forced myself up and made my mind drag my tired body outside... And that's when I discovered what has been missing from my system this entire time, what I clearly denied myself!  And it's so simple!

It was truly incredible... As I hit the road, the body that felt stagnant and under-utilized for over two weeks, the body that had been abused by all sorts of junk food and alcohol, suddenly began to respond.  It was as if a quick dose of a very powerful drug had been shot into my bloodstream, an amazing sensation!  A feeling of pure euphoria - intense and yet so entirely soothing and refreshing...
 
And then the tears came...

A feeling of total physical and emotional exhilaration, where the body and mind responded in unison, simultaneously in a unique and powerful way.  No longer feeling old, no longer exhausted, though flying through the night streets like the young man that I once was... I read somewhere that running produces a chemical reaction similar to that of a drug, but never did I imagine such a powerful impact not only on my body, but on my mind as well, my mood, my perception of the surroundings - everything felt 1,000% better!  Things were once again awesome!  And I literally felt the tears of joy appear in my eyes, me - a man who has not cried since 1994!

Of course, just like with any other forbidden substance - the feeling wore off quickly after I arrived back home.  Some remnant of the euphoric feeling is still shooting through the system here and there, however, I admit to myself that soon enough I will need another dose, another "quick fix" of the youth potion, as it is clearly the only element that still manages to keep this body and mind together... And there is only one place where this missing element can be found - out there, on the road... Something I must never forget, as I am clearly "hooked" on it.

Keep that engine running!