5AM Runner

Gluteus To The Max


gymWhat kind of a title is that?  Most likely I meant ‘Gluteus Maximus’, which, loosely translated, means ‘nice butt’.  But then again, it is just a Hapax Legomenon (a word that you will see in a document only once.)

Sorry about that, an idiot of my caliber is not supposed to know smart words like these, but occasionally they come to mind.  I will explain why I referenced a ‘nice butt' in the title above, and I promise there is a connection to the thoughts below.

But first, let’s agree on one indisputable fact – everything in the world, throughout our entire history, only happens because of women.  It is only because of women that new things get invented, wars are fought, and arguments take place and get resolved.  It is only due to the presence of women that men strive to live in nice houses, attempt to make more money and drive nicer cars.  Without women, men would just live in simple box-like apartments, big enough to fit a TV and a powerful refrigerator.  Life would be effortless and quite boring, without much to prove or achieve.  And of course, if it weren’t for women, colors would all be monotonous and dull, fashion would not exist and we would all be wearing the same disgusting identical plain outfits. 


Thanks to women, men also attempt to look good, get in shape and showcase their physical assets as much as possible.  Why do you think men really visit gyms?  Well, in some cases it is actually to pump some iron and get a good weight-lifting workout.  But when you see a man lost in a yoga class or innocently sitting on a stationary bike in an all-women class, you know precisely what’s going on.  He wants to catch a glimpse of hot women in action, moving around, riding a bike or even just stretching in those hot leggings.  You may even see a man pretending to enjoy a women’s kickboxing class, standing right in their midst and appearing to work on a heavy bag, while all he really wants to do is see good-looking women jumping around, violently punching and kicking things, and occasionally even screaming in fury!

And honestly, there is nothing wrong with a hot-looking woman becoming the only motivation for a man to suddenly become interested in Pilates and hot yoga.  What starts off purely as a “visual motivation” may easily turn into a quest for self-improvement, and – as history has proven time and again – will lead to greater progress.